It was Saturday afternoon, Thanksgiving weekend, when an e-mail landed with a joyless clunk, rousing me from my post-run stupor. A friend wrote that he had just attended a presentation at the Victoria Marathon expo entitled “Running Sport Science: 35 Years of Progress – The New and the Tried and True.” In his message, my friend reported that the seminar’s guest speaker responded to a question from the audience with “Why would any runner want to do yoga?” The speaker explained his position by citing the need for “stiffness” in a runner’s muscles and claiming that yoga made the muscles “loosey-goosey.” Yes, he actually said “loosey-goosey.” This is progress?

Sigh. Just when I thought we’d seen the last of these nitwits, another yoga basher rises from the muck, this one conjuring the insightful “loosey-goosey” to describe the hellish reckoning that awaits runners who do yoga. As a bonus, the condescending snark of “why would any runner want to do yoga?” saves us rubes from getting conned into buying a worthless yoga membership by some smooth talkin’ hustler. We should all be grateful.

If you follow this type of thing, and it seems that in my role as a teacher of yoga to runners I have to, then you know it’s fashionable in certain circles to trash yoga. Some strength and conditioning experts, running coaches, and other athletic types believe that yoga for runners/athletes (I will toggle between the two throughout this piece) is stupid, for want of a better word, mainly because it ruins “athleticism”, a word whose meaning has evolved well beyond the quaint “displaying the attributes of an athlete” found in musty dictionaries.


Athleticism!

Nowadays, “athleticism” is that quality of being a superbly trained, finely-tuned athletic machine, possessing the exquisite neuromuscular skills needed to nail a triple axel or curve a penalty shot past a human wall into the last six inches of net. Athleticism is also the capacity to generate the explosive biomechanical force needed for rocket-sled starts from blocks or the blue line, as well as the enormous oppositional forces for hit-the-brakes decelerations and full stops and turn-on-a-dime changes in direction.

Yoga, some contend, is decidedly un- or even anti-athletic, because the stretching part “deadens the muscle” and reduces “peak strength and power” (the words of a different expert), thereby impairing the body’s ability to perform these astoundingly complex neuromuscular actions.

Adding to the shaming of yoga, those who have swallowed the Crossfit Kool-Aid know that Crossfit’s fundamentalist faction, the group that hews to the strictest interpretation of its doctrine, ranks yoga one notch below pedophilia in their hierarchy of reprehensible activities (a list that also includes long, slow running). So before I go on, a bit of advice: if you join Crossfit, best not to mention your love of downward dog and leisurely two-hour runs or you’ll be frog marched onto the next bus to Camp Dumbbell, their “re-education” centre. There, with your eyes clamped open like Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange, you’ll be forced to watch box-jumping videos until you’re a weeping puddle of flesh.

malcolm_mcdowell_being_made_to_look_in_Clockwork_OrangeNooo! Not another box jumping video!

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